Everyone needs a love tap now and then

…and it may just be good for what ails you.

Sex Blogger needs our help!

Posted by Týr on August 5, 2008

foj_email_banner_1 Support the Friends of Jefferson Legal Defense Fund
An important member of the sex-positive community
urgently needs our help.

Jefferson—blogger, educator, and dear friend to so many of us—is at this moment fighting a court battle with his ex-wife, who is seeking full custody of their three children.

Jefferson’s love for his children has been well-documented on his blog One Life, Take Two for years. His ex-wife has stated in court that he is a “great” father who loves his children.

However, among her claims is that his bisexuality makes him an unfit parent.

Jefferson needs our help now. As a writer, his resources are limited. The costs of fighting this case are mounting quickly—and will certainly run into the tens of thousands of dollars.

As of today, there is an urgent and immediate need for at least $20,000 to cover costs associated with attorney fees and those of the law guardian who has been appointed to represent the children.

If he is unable to pay these fees by August 11,
he will be forced to relinquish custody of his children.

This case is of concern to anyone whose sexuality does not fit the standard mold—because it could happen to you. This case is of concern to all writers, because Jefferson’s blog is being used as evidence against him—and that could have repercussions for our First Amendment rights.

Here’s how to help:

Make an ANONYMOUS, TAX-DEDUCTIBLE contribution to Jefferson’s legal defense by visiting the Sexual Freedom Defense and Education Fund at:


There you will find out how to donate to Jefferson’s Defense Fund via PayPal or if you prefer, check or money order.

Please note that you MUST mention that your donation be used for the JEFFERSON LEGAL DEFENSE FUND.


In the coming days, www.onelifetaketwo.com will be relaunched with information about Jefferson’s ongoing case. Be sure to visit his blog for updates. In the meantime, you can contact Jefferson directly at friendsofjefferson@gmail.com.

I don’t know Jefferson at all personally, but his blog makes clear that he loves his kids. Don’t let the blog become a tool for taking them away from him.

Pass the word. If it can happen to one of us, it can happen to any of us.


Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

It’s not enough to bash in heads, You’ve got to bash in minds!

Posted by Týr on July 24, 2008

Ever since I have had to go to work at a construction site for the past two weeks, I’ve been on the lookout for a 18″-24″ long #3 or #4 rebar to take home and use as a nice, short, heavy cane. But I was always too busy to be able to swipe one. Until today.

Since there was a downpour in the morning, work came to a halt, and I could take my time walking around the site, looking at what had been done. And there, in a stack of short bars that were going to be thrown away, were a #3 AND a #4 bars in the lengths I wanted! So I went to Home Depot and got some tool dip so I could coat the bar and keep it from rusting away.

When I got home I realized that the tool dip can was significantly shorter than the rebar, and that if I dipped each end in, I would still end up with uncoated steel in the middle. How do I rectify this, short of pouring it out over some kind of tarp. I thought of perhaps using a brush or similar, but I would very much prefer a uniform coat over the entire bar.

Also, I just discovered that there is clear tool dip. I think I want that instead, so that I can still see that it’s rebar. I’m thinking I want to return the tool dip I have (red) and then find some clear dip. But I should hurry, so that I coat it before the bar rusts.

Finally: who wants a heavy metal beating, literally? I know, I’ll use sparingly. It is, after all, steel. And thus fairly heavy.

Posted in kink, pervertables | 5 Comments »

A sadist like me can pursue his vocation

Posted by Týr on June 11, 2008

So at Topdrop’s play party on Friday, Adam and I double-topped Maja with wonderful effects. We placed her in between us and began flogging her from both sides. It was one of those situations that she very clearly loved/hated/loved/hated/loved, which is what many of us, indeed Adam and I, aim for when we play. All that Maja knew before the scene was that both of us were going to top her, so when we decided to start our scene, I just placed her in between us, facing me, and the two of us just started draping our floggers over her, just letting the soft leather caress her shoulders, breasts and back. Once we actually got to flogging her, I saw that fantastic mix of delight and fear. I think this was the first time that Maja had any sort of non-hand impact where she could actually see the blows coming. Hits kept raining down, some just grazing the nipple, some having all the falls across her chest. After some time, Adam pulled out his Dragon’s Tongue and started hitting Maja’s back while I embraced her, slightly more as a means to keep her from squirming away then from pure affection. I turned her around and held her arms in a full Nelson so that Adam could use the Dragon’s Tongue on Maja’s breasts, leaving some really beautiful marks. I must say that Adam’s aim really is impeccable. I also think that I want a Dragon’s Tongue for myself. 

You should have seen Maja’s face. She. Was. Beaming. It’s been a while since a scene had made her that happy, so we owe a small debt to Adam. Thank you, Adam. That scene really was the highlight for both of us that night. We each went off to hang out with friends, our paths crossing every so often, usually with hugs. All in all a good night was had before we managed our way home and crashed in bed.

The next morning I was pleasantly surprised when Maja asked me to hurt her breasts. Usually she needs a couple days for the tenderness of post-play to subside, but she seemed to be so keyed up from the previous night that she wanted more. So I was only too happy to oblige. There are worse ways to spend a morning…

Posted in Blogroll, emotions, fear, kink, objectification, relationships | 1 Comment »

Remember to ret rer into your heart

Posted by Týr on April 17, 2008

I really shouldn’t like this as much as I do. Hopefully this doesn’t ruin the head-space I need to top Maja tonight.

thanks Kaya

Posted in funny, linkage | 1 Comment »

All I can do is press and turn and you spread your legs in the screen

Posted by Týr on April 10, 2008

So I just found something that made me very confused. Mostly though, this made me wonder how much time would pass before Maymay procures one of these. Someone came up with a USB adapter for a Fleshlight, so you can actually use the Fleshlight as a mouse. Ah, the ingenuity of geeks.

Is it just me or does this strike you as a reverse-pervertable of sorts?

from Slashdong (via io9)

Posted in funny, kink, linkage, sexuality, technology | 1 Comment »

Tag, I’m it – Six Words!

Posted by Týr on March 26, 2008

I haven’t done any type of memes yet over here, and I wasn’t really expecting to. But then the fantastic Tom Allen tagged me with this one.

Here’s how it works:

  1. Write your own six word memoir
  2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like
  3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post.
  4. Tag five more blogs with links
  5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

Are you happy? Good. Same here.

I’ve loved this concept ever since I first heard of it on Wired.com. And now I get to add my own to this list.

I really enjoyed this meme, so now Recursive Kink, Kaya, Switch and Boy, Dov, Eileen – tag, you’re all it!

Posted in linkage, meme, quote | Leave a Comment »

“I can take it. I’m a grown-up. We’re all grown-ups.”

Posted by Týr on March 19, 2008

go to Erosblog and see read what happens when George Clooney sees 2 Girls 1 Cup.

Posted in Blogroll, funny, linkage, quote | 2 Comments »

Radiance blinding as it gives and now takes

Posted by Týr on March 19, 2008

(continued from previous post)

What was missing was really simply an intensity, a deeper intent in the scenes than simply haivng fingertips digging into your back. It was nice to feel vulnerable for a change, but that wasn’t enough for me. I re-discovered something that made me figure out what could provide that which I was missing.

While going through my computer, I discovered that I had downloaded but not yet listened to editions 6 & 7 of Kink On Tap. I decided that that had to be rectified, and so the next time I had 2 hours to spare, I listened to both of them, back to back. And somehow, that struct a chord. Both of the podcasts are about T&D, which I would describe as my core kink when I bottom, but had somehow fallen out of my favor for some reason. For whatever reason listening to the two podcasts rekindled my interest in T&D, so I soon asked Maja not to let me orgasm for a while, but if she really wanted to, then I would have no objections to this.

And, holy crap, I took to that like a fish to water.  As did Maja. She was definitely enjoying teasing me, having me wrapped around her finger like that. There was one point, after a week of being denied (my longest stretch up to then – I know, some claim that’s nothing) where I was lying down with my head in her lap, talking to her as she lightly teased me, and I said to her “I kind of want you to not let me come this week. – But I also want you to ignore everything I say and let me have an orgasm real soon.” I somehow also managed to actually enjoy the pain of blue balls, which surprised me.

Still, luckily/sadly that bit of denial came to a mind-shattering end after two weeks, and as happens to many people, I somehow didn’t quite want to start right up again with the a full-blown scene. And then, a few days later, just when I was ready to let Maja decide again whether I get to enjoy an orgasm or not, life sadly intervened and Maja was taken out of commission when it comes to kink for two weeks.

Posted in chastity, emotions, humiliation, kink, language, orgasm control, orientation, sexuality, switching, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

If one cut the source of the flow and everything would change

Posted by Týr on March 11, 2008

For about 18-24 months of our relationship, I was topping Maja, without too much switching during this time. There were a number of reasons this was happening, some I might be able to list, none of which are important to this entry. Still, both of us identified as switches, even though she hadn’t topped me in at least a year and a half.

I had spent such a long time only topping that I started to wonder whether the term ‘switch’ still applied to me. After all, I didn’t really long for bottoming. I spent a good deal of time on an internal debate saying “Are you a top or a switch? Because switches will, at times, you know, switch. You don’t really want to do that, do you? Just admit it, you’re a top, not a switch!” to myself, to which the common reply was “But I do want to bottom again eventually, just not now. Or in the near future. Give it some time. I’m not a top. (yet?)” So this was my internal non-schizoid dialogue for a number of weeks.

This discussion was put on hold when I went to Tanzania in late November. After all, I had no need for such thoughts when HOLY CRAP A LION! However, at the end of my 2.5 week trip, when I had a hotel room to myself for a day, my thoughts did return to Maja. Specifically, I was discharging a 2 week build-up while imagining various stock fantasies of mine that involved me definitely being the bottom. Not too unusual for me, and these thoughts are probably what kept me from changing my self-identity from “switch” to top”.

When I returned in December, Maja mentioned to me that she had become a little less automatically-bottom-y during the 18 days that I was gone. This wasn’t quite what I was expecting, but I can’t say that I was surprised. She had said something similar when I had gone to Germany for a wedding during the summer. That time, however, we soon slipped back into our old, prior roles since I was only gone for a week. We spent some time in an awkward limbo, with, I realize now, me waiting for us to revert back to the roles of old. This didn’t happen. However, seeing this more confident, take-charge Maja did slowly get me to actually want to bottom, at which point one voice in my head went “HAHA! I WIN!”

Then, in January, at the Rhode Island Fetish Flea, Maja would top me while we were lying in bed just before and after sleep. Nothing too intense, but a nice change that I did enjoy. There were a few snafus though, since, after all, Maja was rusty. I mean, wouldn’t you be after all that time? Still, I enjoyed it a lot, and it led to us to play around with it some more over the next month or so. Mostly she would dig her nails into my back, scratch me a lot, slap me; fairly light stuff.  But somehow something was still missing.

(That is what my next post shall be about.)

Posted in emotions, humiliation, kink, orientation, relationships, sexuality, switching | 1 Comment »

My cock doesn’t talk politics.

Posted by Týr on February 19, 2008

Until now!

I can’t really say that I’m surprised, but an environmentalist blog is not really where I would expect to find any sort of sexual advice. That being said, a link directly on Treehugger‘s homepage is titled How to Green Your Sex Life. Among other things the page itself gives the good advice to avoid any toys that might have phthalates and also suggests “some nice warm loving before bed can get the bedroom toasty, meaning the thermostat can be lower”. That has to be the most awkward and indirect way to initiate sex that I can think of.

From there it’s just a quick few jumps to discover that organic lube exists (Maymay & Eileen, take note – made in Australia) or to read about the joy of bamboo bed sheets, and organic undies. Really I should stop giving you the links myself and let you explore on your own.

I never really thought about it, but it makes complete sense that even sex could and should be greened. All one ever hears in the media (well, mainstream media) is about large-scale projects/ideas/etc, like taking an entire house off the grid. Very rarely, if at all, does one hear of something this low on the energy consumption scale. Then again, the power savings from this website are likely not to drastically lower your electric bill or save the world from global warming. Still, every little bit counts, and who am I to keep you from loving the earth while you love each other. Or yourselves.

Posted in environmentalism, sexuality | 3 Comments »