Everyone needs a love tap now and then

…and it may just be good for what ails you.

If one cut the source of the flow and everything would change

Posted by Týr on March 11, 2008

For about 18-24 months of our relationship, I was topping Maja, without too much switching during this time. There were a number of reasons this was happening, some I might be able to list, none of which are important to this entry. Still, both of us identified as switches, even though she hadn’t topped me in at least a year and a half.

I had spent such a long time only topping that I started to wonder whether the term ‘switch’ still applied to me. After all, I didn’t really long for bottoming. I spent a good deal of time on an internal debate saying “Are you a top or a switch? Because switches will, at times, you know, switch. You don’t really want to do that, do you? Just admit it, you’re a top, not a switch!” to myself, to which the common reply was “But I do want to bottom again eventually, just not now. Or in the near future. Give it some time. I’m not a top. (yet?)” So this was my internal non-schizoid dialogue for a number of weeks.

This discussion was put on hold when I went to Tanzania in late November. After all, I had no need for such thoughts when HOLY CRAP A LION! However, at the end of my 2.5 week trip, when I had a hotel room to myself for a day, my thoughts did return to Maja. Specifically, I was discharging a 2 week build-up while imagining various stock fantasies of mine that involved me definitely being the bottom. Not too unusual for me, and these thoughts are probably what kept me from changing my self-identity from “switch” to top”.

When I returned in December, Maja mentioned to me that she had become a little less automatically-bottom-y during the 18 days that I was gone. This wasn’t quite what I was expecting, but I can’t say that I was surprised. She had said something similar when I had gone to Germany for a wedding during the summer. That time, however, we soon slipped back into our old, prior roles since I was only gone for a week. We spent some time in an awkward limbo, with, I realize now, me waiting for us to revert back to the roles of old. This didn’t happen. However, seeing this more confident, take-charge Maja did slowly get me to actually want to bottom, at which point one voice in my head went “HAHA! I WIN!”

Then, in January, at the Rhode Island Fetish Flea, Maja would top me while we were lying in bed just before and after sleep. Nothing too intense, but a nice change that I did enjoy. There were a few snafus though, since, after all, Maja was rusty. I mean, wouldn’t you be after all that time? Still, I enjoyed it a lot, and it led to us to play around with it some more over the next month or so. Mostly she would dig her nails into my back, scratch me a lot, slap me; fairly light stuff.  But somehow something was still missing.

(That is what my next post shall be about.)

Advertisements

One Response to “If one cut the source of the flow and everything would change”

  1. […] said – She said Gael on My cock doesn’t talk pol…If one cut the sourc… on I have returned!bibomedia on The Tale of TýrTýr on My cock doesn’t talk […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: