A sadist like me can pursue his vocation

So at Topdrop’s play party on Friday, Adam and I double-topped Maja with wonderful effects. We placed her in between us and began flogging her from both sides. It was one of those situations that she very clearly loved/hated/loved/hated/loved, which is what many of us, indeed Adam and I, aim for when we play. All that Maja knew before the scene was that both of us were going to top her, so when we decided to start our scene, I just placed her in between us, facing me, and the two of us just started draping our floggers over her, just letting the soft leather caress her shoulders, breasts and back. Once we actually got to flogging her, I saw that fantastic mix of delight and fear. I think this was the first time that Maja had any sort of non-hand impact where she could actually see the blows coming. Hits kept raining down, some just grazing the nipple, some having all the falls across her chest. After some time, Adam pulled out his Dragon’s Tongue and started hitting Maja’s back while I embraced her, slightly more as a means to keep her from squirming away then from pure affection. I turned her around and held her arms in a full Nelson so that Adam could use the Dragon’s Tongue on Maja’s breasts, leaving some really beautiful marks. I must say that Adam’s aim really is impeccable. I also think that I want a Dragon’s Tongue for myself. 

You should have seen Maja’s face. She. Was. Beaming. It’s been a while since a scene had made her that happy, so we owe a small debt to Adam. Thank you, Adam. That scene really was the highlight for both of us that night. We each went off to hang out with friends, our paths crossing every so often, usually with hugs. All in all a good night was had before we managed our way home and crashed in bed.

The next morning I was pleasantly surprised when Maja asked me to hurt her breasts. Usually she needs a couple days for the tenderness of post-play to subside, but she seemed to be so keyed up from the previous night that she wanted more. So I was only too happy to oblige. There are worse ways to spend a morning…

I summoned a demon and took it to bed

This past weekend at Topdrop’s play party I ended up beating The Scot nicely. We had agreed two weeks ago that this would happen after getting the ok from our respective significant others (neither couple would come close to describing themselves as polyamourous). Then last week the four of us sat down after the CV meeting and asked what each of us would be comfortable, what parts of her body I should avoid hitting, etc.

When we actually got to starting the scene at the party, I started it off by grabbing her neck and pushing her against the wall, just to get the scene off with a clear “I’m in charge” moment. I was then somewhat confused when she pushed my hand away. So I asked her “Is my hand on your neck not ok? I just realized that we didn’t actually negotiate that.” She assured me that it was ok, that she was simply a bottom that resists and makes my job that much harder and more enjoyable.

But afterwards, like now, I was wondering why I asked about one common potential minefield (face slapping) but left out another (putting my hand on her neck). What is more noteworthy is just how much this has become part of my playing repetoire without me really knowing it. It’s not that I am a big proponent of breath-play. I just really like putting my hand around the bottom’s (most often Maja’s) neck as a sign of dominance & control of the scene.

And by the same thinking, over the past few months, I realize I’ve grown to enjoy playing with fear. Well, not fear, but that look in the bottom’s eyes of “Holy crap, what did I get myself into?!?” is rather priceless, even if the bottom knows (or at least should) that nothing too painful/bad/injurious/etc is going to happen. And I find that a hand on the neck is an excellent way to achieve that. Since, I could, in theory, start choking, start some (surprise) breathplay… I most likely wouldn’t. But I could.

Perhaps fear isn’t the right word. No, it’s definitely not. I can’t think of the word that fits what I’m thinking of. Let’s try this: mix one shot of control, one shot of determination, two shots of general emotional intensity (the non-stomach-lining-hating kink equivalent of MSG), and a splash of fear-inducement, and you kinda have what I’m going for. (Still confused? Ask in a comment)

I don’t actually try to get my bottoms to be afraid of me (although I’m not opposed), I just really like to be the one in control when I’m topping, that emotional intensity. And frankly, what better way to set such a mood for a scene than to push someone up against the wall by their neck?

Hell, it might just take their breath away.